The Grief Recovery Method: An Overview

 

The Grief Recovery Method is a structured, evidence-based approach that provides tools for individuals to process and complete their grief. Developed by John W. James and Russell Friedman in the late 1980s, the method emerged out of personal loss and the recognition that traditional advice often left grievers feeling stuck.

This method moves beyond intellectual understanding and focuses on taking action to address the unresolved emotional pain that lingers after loss. Rather than encouraging people to “move on” in the sense of forgetting, it supports participants in moving forward with their lives while honoring their loss.

Core Principles of the Grief Recovery Method

 

• Loss is Unique: Each person's experience of loss is different, shaped by their relationship with what—or whom—they have lost.
• Unresolved Grief Accumulates: When grief is not expressed or processed, it can build up over time, impacting emotional and physical health.
• Action Is Key: While talking about loss can be helpful, the Grief Recovery Method emphasizes specific actions that lead to emotional completion.
• No Judgment of Feelings: All emotions are valid in the context of loss; there is no “correct” way to feel.
• Confidentiality and Safety: Participation happens in a confidential, supportive environment, which is essential for honest expression.

Why Choose the Grief Recovery Method?

 

I chose to work on my own healing and to become certified in the GRM, because of the time tested, step specific and action-oriented approach to helping someone move through the pain and unresolved feelings. I had processed my feelings in therapy but still felt like I was stuck and unable to move forward.

The Grief Recovery Method validates the losses and acknowledges that sadness will be present but that it is possible to live without the pain that has you stuck, and to reclaim your joy. Even more importantly, it provides a roadmap on exactly how to do this. 

The GRM was also the first program that I found that highlighted and validated that loss doesn't always occur as a result of death. Feelings of loss can occur anytime someone has unmet hopes, dreams or expectations and there is undelivered emotional communication surrounding the things they wish were different.